Cannot believe how the past year has flown by. I guess at some point we grow to accept the fact that life is moving fast. One thing I have really focused on over the past 2 years has been to be in the moment and to realize good or bad, nothing lasts. The impermanent nature of things. I have sat with this numerous times as I have focused on more meditation and calming the mind, giving up trying to have control over everything.

This became very clear to me in 2 situations.

The first being after foot surgery which is an entry in itself and how long and hard the recovery was.

The second being the death of Eddie, our sweet Golden Retriever taken from us at 4 years old. Might be the single saddest moment of my life. I am trying to figure out what I was or am supposed to learn from this, but all I can come up with now is a hole in my heart. We had Wally for 14.5 years. That would have been 10 more years. Eddie could be a pain in the ass taking off with clothes, stealing hats and eating the pompoms, stealing sticks of butter off of the counter. It was these things that made me grumpy that also made me love him. He was a loyal companion as they say. Followed me like a shadow, was beside me as I worked back from surgery, and was a tremendous watchdog. I wrote a list of things that I loved when he was dying. Through the tears, I would type, not wanting to miss time with him, but also not wanting to forget what I surely would have had I not captured it in writing. I have not been able to look at it still….since April because my heart cannot handle it at the moment. I do know that as he was dying (it was 2 months from diagnosis to death), I was present in a way I never have been in my life. For that I am grateful and for that I wait for a broken heart to mend.